School Anxiety: Why It’s Rising and How We Can Support Our Young People

Is School Anxiety Actually Increasing?

According to Claire, around eight or nine out of every ten referrals she receives now highlight anxiety—usually within the school environment. While we don’t have hard data to explain why, she believes it’s a combination of two things:

• We are more able to recognise and articulate anxiety than we once were.

• Pressures within the school system have undeniably increased.

And there’s truth in that. School doesn’t look the same as it did 20, 30, 40 years ago. The academic “lane” children are expected to stay within is narrower. Testing happens younger. Expectations are higher. For some children that structure feels motivating—but for many, it feels suffocating.

The Weight of Expectations

Children begin hearing about tests and future success from a very young age. SATs, GCSEs, revision timetables, assemblies focused on results—layer upon layer reminding them that their future hangs in the balance.

And while exams are a normal part of education, the messaging around them often triggers a threat response rather than a learning response. When children shift into survival mode—fight, flight, freeze, or shutdown—their brain simply can’t process, remember or learn effectively.

Some children respond by shutting down entirely: procrastinating, avoiding, or withdrawing. Others swing the opposite way—overworking, pushing themselves into exhaustion, and becoming perfectionistic. Both ends of the spectrum are rooted in overwhelm.

The Everyday Anxieties Beyond Exams

It isn’t just exams causing the strain.

The transition from primary or middle school into high school is huge. Overnight, a child can move from a small nurturing environment to a vast, noisy world full of bodies, expectations, and change.

They have to:

• Navigate corridors of hundreds (or thousands) of students

• Move classrooms every hour

• Find new teachers, new routines, new locker locations

• Remember equipment, homework, ingredients, PE kits

• Adjust socially, academically and emotionally

For a neurodivergent young person—perhaps with autism, ADHD, sensory differences, or a need for consistent attachment figures—this isn’t just “a lot”. It can be overwhelming every single day.

And for any child, even one who is typically developing, the sheer volume of change can erode confidence and chip away at their sense of safety.

Where Relationships Fit In

One theme came up again and again: relationships matter.

In primary school, children often have one or two consistent adults who know them deeply. In high school, this vanishes almost overnight. Some teachers naturally attune to a child’s needs, but others—with workload pressures and hundreds of students—simply don’t have the capacity.

For a child who struggles to feel seen or heard at home and school, anxiety blossoms quickly.

As Claire put it, young people don’t necessarily need school to “fix” their mental health. But they desperately need adults who listen, validate, and notice them.

What Parents Often See First

The tricky part? Children very rarely tell us, “I’m anxious.”

Instead, anxiety leaks out sideways. Parents might notice:

• Increased irritability

• Withdrawal from family life

• Spending more time alone in their room

• Changes in sleep

• Snapping more easily

• Becoming quieter, flatter or more sensitive

• Less motivation or interest

• A shift in friendships

• More tears, more arguments, or more silence

Some young people keep functioning outwardly, but inside they’re running on fumes. Others slowly disengage. And some hit a sudden crisis point—a meltdown, panic attack, or refusal—after months of quietly struggling.

When a Child Says, “I Can’t Go In”

At the severe end, young people may reach a point where the thought of school becomes completely intolerable.

For many, this doesn’t happen overnight. Their internal “anxiety bucket” fills drip by drip: the noise, the social stress, the sensory overload, the academic pressure, the constant expectations. And because they often can’t explain what’s wrong, adults don’t realise how full that bucket has become until it overflows.

Some children suddenly break during a morning routine. Others stop attending after a school holiday, a tough term, or one triggering incident. And sometimes, like the young person Claire described, they simply never go back.

So What Can We Do?

For parents, carers and professionals:

• Stay curious rather than pushy

• Notice small changes rather than waiting for big ones

• Keep gentle opportunities for connection (food always helps!)

• Check in with school early

• Involve pastoral teams or SENCOs when needed

• Remember that withdrawal is communication

• Hold onto empathy, not frustration

School anxiety isn’t about laziness or refusal—it’s about capacity, safety, and overwhelm.

And with the right understanding, support, and attuned adults, children can begin to rebuild their sense of safety.